laziness, vices, and fighting me

MIND --"I'm just lazy." This statement reconfirms your core belief that subconsciously, you are not worthy. Your first 8-10 years are when you're wired for something. And the challenge is to rewire your thinking. If anyone in your life, especially a person of authority, reinforced that you're not good enough, that wiring can be damaging. This isn't about blaming that person, it's about going back to figure out where you were imprinted to believe that other people's needs were more important than your own. If you don't have money for professional counseling, it requires unraveling where in your childhood you were made to believe that your opinions were not important.-- Oprah and Bob Greene of Best Life

BODY -- My father used to go to the grocery store with a shopping list and return with a large amount of xxxxx junk food...sometimes with or without the actual food my mother needed. I thought it strange at the time because my mom was such a frugal woman. Candy was rarely in the house, fresh fruits and milk were regulated (via her screaming "What happened to all the xxxxx?"), and lunch money was calculated to the penny (I was liberally scooping additional coins out of the coffee can to buy convenience store goodies which resulted in mom screaming "What happened to all the xxxxx?").

So what is the connection to the body section of my post? Well, I went to work, having budgeted out snack, transportation, lunch, and bill money, purposely leaving my cigarettes at home to "cut down" when a pang of xxxxx hit me. Chocolate or cigarettes? Both are about $1 and I strategically left both at home to stick to my plan. So why did I go in there and buy both? Because like my dad, I was looking to fill the void with one of my vices. How I wish running was my addiction! Actually, some runners need to have doctor ordered bed rest because they break bones and starve themselves or something like that. lol. "What happened to xxxxx?" Maybe next month when it warms up I will run to a farther store....to buy cigarettes and chocolate.

WORK -- 1) Whether or not a parent is happy with company policies, I can make their kid giggle like there's no tomorrow. And I'm okay with that.
2) All children are better when their parents are gone.

LANGUAGE BARRIER OR CULTURAL BRIDGE?
"You want to fighting me? I don't wanna fighting you."
"If I pay all, you don't go club, okay? Finish."
"Hungry Margaret is dangerous."
Lesson: Never argue on an empty stomach.

Cook: Kare ha nihon-jin desuka? (Your boyfriend, He's Japanese?)
Me: Hai.....Anatono karee ha totemo oishii! (Yes......Your curry is so delicious)
Cook: Iie, iie (no, no) My husband doesn't like curry.
Lesson - I am pronouncing curry incorrectly.