HIP HOP HOORAY! Part 1

I came back from visiting Samoa last month. I attended a high school friend's wedding and conducted an unofficial feasibility study. I still don't have enough info to decide whether I can live at home again, probably because I will always be in a love-hate relationship with the place of my birth.

While checking in at Honolulu airport, I saw some relatives of a good friend as well as my first cousin and his son. Chatting with them was nice, but being around all those other poly eyeballs made me feel a little anxious. The counter clerk gasped at my luggage. "That's all you're checking in?" she remarked with a look of disbelief. "Yup," I replied. She called her coworkers over to look at two pieces that looked like handbags amongst the assortment of suitcases and taped up coolers bound for Pago Pago International Airport. "So small," she whispered. "I'm only visiting, not staying," I explained, laughing with relief.

"Let's get out of here," I half begged my sister who had already introduced me to two more frielatives in the short walk from check in to gate security. We went to have one last meal at a nearby restaurant. L&L is never a bad choice. The portions were though! My stomach was shocked at the size of the mini! I immediately considered restroom opportunities over the next few hours before deciding it was safe to eat all of the chicken katsu plate. It was fantastic! I rarely eat meat in Japan because it's just too expensive to me. She dropped me off back at the entrance for gates and I got through all the checkpoints without a problem, but then there was the departure gate line.

I finally get to my row and there's a woman already settled in her aisle seat. No problem. I tell her I'm inside and she moves. No problem. I'm getting my seat belt on and I realize something is missing. Pillow? Nope, got that here. Blanket? Ah, it's under here. WTF? She done pushed my armrest up....like ALL THE WAY UP....in between our seats. The only part visible was the headset jack. Directly beneath that was HER ARM laid across the seat divider. And below that was HER LEFT HIP. Now looking at that hip as it touched mine made me feel reallllly anxious. "But Margaret, it's only a hip!" you say. NO people. This was not just a hip. It was part of what seemed like a HIP-PO to me after being in Japan for so long. I was trying to scoot all the way to the window so as not to interrupt this hip that was seated first....even before she was probably.

In all honesty, I would've cared less about the hip bonding had she just left my armrest down. I did what I could not to interrupt her and I didn't pull the armrest down or ask her to move. I just reclined my seat and pushed my fingers between the space on my side to get channels and volume changed. Five hours and no bathroom break later, I made it. Down the rickety deplaning staircase, into the humid hugs of Samoa air, and toward the entrance. It looked, smelled, and sounded exactly the same. We're in four immigration lines but people are just walking through the checkpoint. Not everyone, but like 5 or 6 people straight walked past everyone included the Federally funded Immigration Officer. Weird.

Everyone stood around the single luggage claim area-all 100 feet of conveyor belt-to get their bags. I still don't get how all the Asians in Samoa have like 8 large pieces of luggage before the belt gets moving. Weird. I pray for my bags to come quickly and roll both pieces to the inspection desk. Then I see him. A dude I used to make out with in high school---but he is like darker, older, and 200 pounds heavier. I shiver and my skin crawls just a little. He snickers at me and after I read his name tag, I say "Hello. How are you?" He immediately plays dumb while his hands are feeling up my electronic device wires. "Uh, what's your name?" (He is holding my passport) "It's Margaret." "Oi!" I do the obligatory kiss on the (sweaty) cheek and wait for him to zip up my two handbags before entering......the ABYSS!


TBC